Middle Aged Woman Talking: Satire
Today In Men's Reproductive Health: Anti-Jerk Versus Pro-Jerk
As the battle continues to rage between Anti-Jerk and Pro-Jerk factions, three Male Masturbation clinics closed today, victims of the latest legislation that is slowly but surely eroding the legal right for men to masturbate.
Anti-Jerks hold true that life begins at erection and masturbation is nothing short of murder. Pro-Jerks don’t think it’s any of the government’s (or anybody else’s) business what they do with their penis. Male masturbation is still not against the law but, because of the remarkably well- organized Anti-Jerks for Jesus, and the fundraising prowess of Tim Tebow, state legislatures are slowly but surely eroding the right.
As per the latest ruling, men have to undergo a ball cup and cough by two different doctors to determine if they’re healthy enough for ejaculation. The wait for results can take up to two weeks. Florida has new legislation on the books that requires not just the ball cup and cough but an anal probe. As Florida goes so goes Ohio, Georgia, Alabama, and Texas.
Earlier this year the Supreme Court did away with buffer zones around masturbation clinics. The Supreme Court’s latest ruling has absolved men in the 1% from all anti-masturbation legislation
"Where is the outrage?” Bill Beilfan, President of Pro-Jerk America, asks in his latest change.org video. Beilfan will be debating David Karolu, President of Anti-Jerks For Jesus this Sunday on Fox News.
Live loud, love fierce, and suffer no fools.
Katherine Manaan MAWT
1st posted 7/15/14
Art by AnthonyRB1